Never smothered yourself in coconut oil? You’ve obviously never lived

Smother yourself in it.
Smother yourself in it.

What’s that smell? my husband says sniffing the air, as I climb into bed. What smell? I say, also sniffing the air. For a moment, I’m worried my husband is going to find out in some horrific way that I keep letting the dog on the bed. Or more accurately on his side of the bed. But I am safe. Like someone’s hidden a giant bar of Bounty in the bedroom, he tells me. Ah, that’s me, I say happily. Ive just done a coconut oil rub. He looks confused. Basically after my now bi-daily oil pull. I’ve ditched the Clinique 3 step and substituted it for covering my face and body with 100% Jamaican coconut oil.

I used to spend a small fortune on organic beauty lotions and now it turns out I can moisturise, remove make-up, use as shower gel, conditioner, clean the laundry, car and pretty much everything else for a few pounds. You look greasy and you’re not getting into bed, you’ll ruin the sheets, my husband tells me in his serious voice. Call yourself Jamaican, I tell him. No, he responds blankly. I don’t. Coconut oil is amazing I tell him.

Read Dave Asprey’s blog Bulletproof, you’ll be oiling yourself up within minutes. Not to mention burning more fat and feeling more energy. In the morning, my skin feels and looks Jam-mazing and after only a few weeks of use, I notice for the first time in years I’m almost blemish free. Courtesy of Dave I’m now on Bulletproof coffee for breakfast –  obviously with a Jamaican twist. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, blended with grass fed, unsalted butter (Kerrygold) and some Jamaican, cold pressed, virgin coconut oil. It’s a superfood and my god it’s delicious. I’m more alert, not to mention any temptation to reach for a piece of toast and Marmite has suddenly vanished and just one cup keeps me full for hours.

Whilst I’m evangelising about all things coco, the mosquitos aren’t biting me anymore and the coconut hair wrap I did has left my mane tousled and soft like something from a shampoo advert, oh and my teeth are still white, despite all the coffee. The only downside is I now have a permanent coconut aroma about me. But thinking back to London, and using the tube in summertime. There are much worse things.

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